youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
