Your mouth is God's brothel.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
