we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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