Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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