My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize