I think I am morally bankrupt
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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