My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
