Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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