If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So many bounce houses so little time
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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