he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
