no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
