I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had to cum in my sink.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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