Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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