you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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