they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
