You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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