Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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