Kiss
Puke
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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