id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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