I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
