that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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