Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
And then he peed in my hair
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