I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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