About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
