i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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