Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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