I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
