Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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