Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
