How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize