I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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