Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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