She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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