Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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