There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
