forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
