so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
