dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
