her vagine was all disorganized.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
