dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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