I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
