I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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