Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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