I must be too annoying 4 u.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
