just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
