Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm always down for nudity.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
