Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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