I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
