my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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