dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
