my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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