I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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