Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
