I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
