Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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