i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
