yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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