You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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