How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
