I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
another moral hangover. fuck.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
