Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
