he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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