Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
