im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
