names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
